Tomorrow will be one week. One week that has past. I feel like each minute has been an hour, each day over a month long.
On the other hand, it’s been 1 week that I’ve been a vegetarian so far. It’s been a week in which I’ve re-started my morning yoga, re-connected with old friends, auditioned and been cast in a play and started to get back in touch with parts of myself that I’d almost forgotten about.
First rehearsal went pretty good. Doing warm-ups again was something, something I think I really missed. It was good to do them and really push myself and get sweaty.
Don read something from a seminar that Peter Brook did somewhere. One fo the quotes was about how theatre, when it is good, is life without the boring bits. I wonder how much of my dissatisfaction with myself has been that I’ve lacked a project that was hyper-real like that. I know there’s more to it, but it seems like there’s at least a part of me that’s always wanted to find that kind of intensity. So, there’s got to have been part of me that tried to create that kind of project out of my life with what I had available.
Perhaps the thing that’s been missing has been a project to which I could apply my focus in an instense way and be healthy doing it. Clearly, there’s not really a place for that in some activities, or it burns up too fast. I’ve had theatre, debate, my poetry … all in the past.
On the drive home, in the dark, I saw a little rabbit running along side the road in the edge of my headlights. It reminded me of how Mayday runs.
At Joey’s house the other day, his cantancerous cat, Pan, perched on my chest as I was leaning back on the couch. He nuzzled up to my ear and kept me company. That was nice of him to do. He didn’t use to act like that around me, but my manner with him must have changed or he might maybe recognize that I was more of a loving cat owner that I used to be before. Anyhow, it’s easy to read more into it, but it was nice to have a cat perch on me and keep me company.
I’m still all sweaty from rehearsal. It’s so much nicer than being all smokey and sweaty from some icky bar. It feels like I’ve been swimming in liquid joy.