How to get ahead in advertising …

Okay, so, I keep seeing these ads for the Zune. Other than that there’s a kind of pathetic quality to the ads themselves which just shows how uncool Microsoft is at heart, I swear to you that every time I see this ad I catch myself wondering why [insert mainstream site] is running ads for pornography.

I mean, seriously, just look at this ad and tell me what she’s doing isn’t bow chicka wow wow. Which makes the headline on this post an unfortunate pun. (Then again, is there any other kind of pun?)

But, back to being uncool, these ads are like others I might expect trying to sell cheap beer. Then, again, that segues quite nicely back into the conversation of porn in advertising.

Oh, don’t even get me started on the phenomenally sexualized Halloween costumes for children that were being advertised this year … I don’t care how much hormone those kids are getting in their milk these days, it’s just wrong to dress kids like hookers. (If I were more uncouth, I’d point out that it’s also false advertizing. You know, there ought to be a law against falsely advertizing for illegal services.) Might as well just go all out and buy them pole dancing kits for Christmas. And, no, a hooker costume that comes in children’s sizes is not a category error (unless it’s for Munchkins which is just bait-and-switch, another example of nasty business tactics!), although that pole dancing kit looks like fun, yeah?

(Reminds me that a bunch of people I know are talking seriously about taking a pole dancing workout being offered by a Pilates studio in Oly … Now, if only someone had thought of making porn an exercise program decades earlier, just think of all the culture war we could have avoided. Oh, and, yeah, I know someone did think of it, really.)

And while we’re at it, just to get our minds off the subject of costumes, what’s with the space invader chic over at Honda? Check out the background image they are using on their Fit pages:

Must be awfully hard to drive, what with having to avoid the earthbase laser cannon fire on the highway … Wow, talk about road rage. It’s relentless, wave after wave of small Honda cars! PANIC!