Viddy well, my brothers, for these ads are mandatory

Via Fark, we can all look forward to “ads in airport security trays“:

Under the plan, ad companies would pay fees to airports and provide the TSA with millions of dollars worth of trays, tables and other non-electronic items used at the security points.In return, advertisers get to hawk watches, laptops and cell phones in a place where travelers regularly stash such items of their own.

Talk about capturing the eyeballs … literally a federal requirement of air travel, forcing people to view ads. The only thing more invasive is if they clamped our eyes open and played the ads in front of our eyes a la Clockwork Orange.

Oh my brothers, soon the bolshy chasso will clamp your peepers open too and tolchuck the gloopy into the gullivers of your banda droogs and all the other bratchny lewdies while you wait itty. And if thou sayeth nay, those bratchny rozz between your gloobers crack your zoobies, trample your yahzick, and will pound your aching yarbles.