re-animate something

I’m starting to feel like I’m trying too hard, even though I’m hardly trying at all. I feel like I’m trying to hold on to something that is gone. I’m trying to re-animate something in my past that I should just let pass into ashes.

For some reason I still think of myself as being an active part of the Olympia community, but I’m nowhere near Olympia anymore. I’m not there. I haven’t been there for months. I felt that part of my life was over when she dropped me off and drove away.

I’m holding on to the empty shell of what I wish I could still feel. Even if I manage to slip the puppet of the past on my hand, it’s still my own voice speaking. Even if I manage to keep up the act, it’s an empty lie of what it was.